T’was a spicy affair, not too hot to handle, just the right amount of spice to be thoroughly enjoyed by the 2s. Claims of “that hit the spot” and “just what we needed” were heard. Indeed it was, and for the few old pros in the 2s there was a certain delicacy to be enjoyed if you know how to sift through the layers and pick up each individual nuance. In relative terms some claimed it would be about a 12a, for some a 15 and for others a pg but enough about shams curry we had post match, on to the real competitive action. After a tense and nervous affair that could have gone any which way it came down to a ‘donut off’ between Rich, Crocker, Tim and Phil, slowest to finish a donut would lose to be dick of the day, Crocker rammed it all in and then tried to deal with it which proved unwise, Tim went at it like a man and Rich a gentleman but Phil hit turbo and gave the desired mouth open, all gone, “aren’t i good mum” to finish first ,after much hilarity and suspense Rich lost and was the DoD!

On to the game, still smarting after last week’s underwhelming performance and determined to right wrongs we lined up, back to everyone’s favourite set up, 3-2-3-2 but with the skippers brutal benching of Jackson for Tom “what Tom from the 3s? SERIOUSLY?” Beale keeping everyone focused and on their toes.

It paid off and we smashed ’em 9-0, we played some great hockey, absolutely grafted for each other, bigged each other up, missed possibly more than we scored – the away keeper played pretty well and we were tighter than a mouse’s chuff at the back. It all seems a bit distant if I’m honest as we probably only spent a maximum of 10% of the game in our half thanks to Tom, Wadey, Crocker and Kieran, screened admirably by sham and rich (1), suffocating their forward attempts allowing Miles (4) Phil (2) captain Holford (0 goals but MOM much to the consternation of a free scoring FOURward who’ll remain nameless), Tim (1 from right wing no less) Sam (1) and Beale to run riot, the oppo weren’t brilliant but we worked as a unit to totally nullify them and then really make use of the ball in a complete 180 to last weeks showing pleasing all of us

Stand out moments

– our 3rd goal, long angled v pass from left back into midfield onto Jackson who performed the J-run of J-runs on the left from the halfway line right round the back to set up a fairly simple slot home -champagne hockey that’s worthy of a £290 wand

– use of 3-2-3-2 I know it seems anathema to a keeper and we maybe can’t deploy it every week but I love it, the least defenders we can get away with and attack attack attack

– Miles going full length at the back post to try get his 5th goal off a Wadey rocket ball with not long to go left on the clock , love the commitment

– negligible warm up gripes this week and no injuries, has the balance between age, fitness, ability and general level of being arsed finally been struck?

– a clean sheet, is the ADU (you know who you are) albeit a new possibly improved version, back in business? I only had 1 save and a kick away so £4 match fees per touch seems steep but it costs in more ways than one to be part of the legendary ADU apparently. Some one said something about a tattoo next week??

– Holfords man of the match performance – not on the score sheet this time round but a proper captains performance, sttrrummmrrr you have a big job to follow when Tesco next let you out

– Beale not falling over, he does it quite a bit

– Partner getting DoD despite bossing the midfield and scoring because he couldn’t eat a donut faster than 3 men twice his size

– Wadeys one handed reverse smash clearance sweeping the pads which I think set up a goal – tekkers!

– the continuation of Toms post marriage form, thank s Mary, we don’t know who gave Tom this new found ability as a wedding present but please thank them on behalf of the 2s he’s been immense

– the return of Herbert the iceman

– shams curry, awesome thanks mate

There were some low lights such as chances missed, Tom’s AWOL trainer? Sham’s pinpoint pass to the umpire, we attempted no D to D aerials, we lacked an angry southerner and a gammy handed hobo with a £5k fox, Jackson’s brutal blow by blow recounting of stories from his week of midwifery, look in his eyes, it has genuinely changed him, right through to Phil’s reverse shot from the top of the D ,when he had acres and acres to turn, get it strong, tee it up, check for wind interference, tie his shoe etc and which only just clipped the top of the fence- that really high bit too!

But all in all we won 9-0, Palace beat Chelsea (that’s £5 in the fines pot please Phil!) We had a good banter, good food, tolerable company and go to bed with that smell of victory curry in our nostrils happy in the knowledge we are learning last weeks lesson but with a steely determination to be better again next week away at Halifax.

p.s I found Tom’s shoe the following day exactly how it is in the picture above.


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