After writing the match report from the reverse fixture (available to purchase – just message my PA), it’s safe to say this is just as gruelling a task as before. Summary from reverse fixture: Jackson missed an open goal, we were pag, snakes everywhere, terrible formation (the one everyone else uses)…

This time strimmer managed to bag a meal deal from work and make it prior to kick off, despite Adel 2s Demi god (rich partner) nearly beating him coming direct from A&E (big up Mrs Partner, legend).

Warm up consisted of Boag’s dog doing more work than him, I went flying in the car park (that car came out of nowhere tbf) and sham had a fag. There were a lot of words said in the changing room beforehand, none of which I can recall.

The big moment arrived – Boag and Jackson on the bench, we were finally ready. Circa 90 seconds in, stroomer released Holford down the line, slapped a speculative ball into the box, as per Saturday at shakey wakey, Miles got on the end of it and slotted Home (classic Goblin-like goal), 2 minutes later Holford roofed a deflection, 2-0, game over, the end.

Not really sure what else happened in the first half but we scored a few more through the usual suspects.  Half time came just after strimmer bobbled a reverse stick into the top corner from basically off the end of the pitch. Other moments to mention include boag falling over his own legs. Adel plenty Ramjams 0 at half time.

Second half started in identical fashion to the first, apart from slightly quicker (inside 20 seconds). Straight from kick off stroomer played Miles in down the left, who found Holford un-marked back post, another one. Pretty sure that was captain Holf’s hat-trick. Another couple of goals here and there for Adel descended the game into chaos, ropey, biff and strimmer found themselves having 2 minute ‘breaks’ after some interesting tackling. By this point we were all cold and bored of the stoppages, ramjams using their usual bore me off tactics that keeps them in the league. Think rich partner had a fight with someone cos he’s scrappy like that, strimmer puffed his chest out like a peacock and some more goals went in. Biff scored one from a short that nobody could see. A bit of class saw miles lob the keeper for his hat-trick, but for a snake to slither in to ‘help it into its already destined position’, the goal… there were calls for him to hang his boots up and slither back into his nest afterwards.

Think it finished 11-0, just deserts for the atrocity that occurred at their ground earlier in the season. Shout out to Rob and the ADU for keeping 3 consecutive clean sheets.

There was far too much snakery going on before, during and after fines. Take a long hard look at yourselves fellas. If you’re not a goblin you’re probably a snake.

The Men’s 2s currently sit 1st in the league after being in imperious form recently with some key fixtures (after Airedale), to finish the season – looking towards a big promotion.

Adel 11 – 0 Ramjams

Holford x3, Partner x2, Stroomer x2, Miles x2 (but it was really 3), Jackson x1 (it doesn’t really count ?), Bishop x1

Thank you to my fans for reading this match report, hoping to make Ramjams edition 2.0 widely available online and in store.

Match report written by Miles ‘Hobgoblin’ Buller


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